I’m Crazy

If someone were to look through my search engine at home or at work they would think I was a lunatic. I’ve gotten to the point where I just can’t help myself.. I Google EVERYTHING and I do mean EVERTYHING! I should keep a list of the random things I Google. I have gotten especially crazy in the last 4 days of the TWW.

So, tomorrow is the day, TOMORROW!!!! Holy smokes! As long as this two weeks has felt, this entire cycle has flown by. I’m excited and anxious to hear what the results are. If they are negative it will suck and I will be heartbroken, but I will pick myself off and we will try again. I’ll also drown my sorrows in a bottle or two of wine. If it is positive I will be overwhelmed with excitement and gratefulness. Either way I am excited to know.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!

Optimism, where did you go? ?

I’m a little down in the dumps today… I tried staying optimistic and positive, but today it is lacking a little. Yesterday I started having “period-like” cramps/ twinges. Or at least what I think is period like cramps. So naturally I began symptom spotting myself left and right. I haven’t completely counted myself out because I have read on doctor Google about many people that had similar feelings and still ended up pregnant. So my question to you all is, have any of you have “period-like symptoms” and still gotten a BFP?

Some of the other symptoms or random things I have noticed in the past few days is: a random rash on both of my upper arms. Also, when I wake up or stand up after laying down for a while my ENTIRE body aches. Sleeping sucks these past few days- I have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep…Finally, I get briefly nauseous after eating. It doesn’t last long, but has been happening pretty regularly.

I’m still going to try to be as positive as possible until I get my beta results, but I don’t want to set myself up to ultimately be crushed either (I will be no matter what if it is a negative). Are any of you getting the second week crazies during your TWW?

This will be my time, this will be my time, this WILL be MY time!!!

Baby dust to you all!

It’s The final Countdown

Here we are. The final countdown. Only FOUR days left until I find out if this cycle was a deal or a dud. I am very hopeful that this is our cycle. I am also hesitant still because I have had very minimal symptoms, if any at all. I haven’t been symptom diagnosing nearly as much this cycle. For my sanity more than anything else.

The past few days I have had sudden nausea that comes out of nowhere, but goes away VERY quickly. I thought it was weird, but I am not thinking too much of it. I’m also pretty irritable and moody, but that could just be AF coming.

Operation CLEAN THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE starts tomorrow. My husband will be very happy once the house is clean. He pretty much does all of the house keeping year round, so when I am on summer break I have to pick up a little slack. We are also in the middle of a remodel. We are re-doing our master bathroom and the kitchen. I can’t wait for them to be finished.

Cheers to staying as busy as possible for the next 4 days.

Ultrasound and IUI #2

I went in for my ultrasound today without my hubby because he was on shift at the fire station. This was the first visit I have gone to without him so I was extra nervous (for no reason). All of the doctors and nurses were asking about him, it was the cutest thing. Anyway- I had my ultrasound this morning and it was amazing the number of follicles that we saw this time compared to last time. You could see them everywhere as she waved the wand around and last time we had to search for them. I had 4 decent ones (13.46, 16.55, 18.02, and 23.92) and my lining was a 7.41…. I was pretty stoked about it. The picture I included was one of my plump follicles… do you guys see the cute heart???

Screenshot_2014-07-01-09-52-37
So, I am right on track. I trigger tonight. This is also the first time I have to trigger myself because E is on shift. He said that I could take it up to the station and he would do it for me, but I think I’ll just try to do it myself. Then we go in for the IUI on Thursday. I was so excited when she said the 3rd and not the 4th. That was our biggest fear going into this cycle because it is the only day E can’t take off work. It’s great when things work out how they are supposed to.
Fingers crossed that this is my cycle and I don’t have to go through all of this FUN again…I am pretty excited to get this show on the road and welcome my little angel!

Baseline

So, we had our baseline today. We will be doing the same medication (Clomid, Follistim, Ovidrel, and Progesterone) and dosage that we did last cycle because my body responded appropriately. I did ask if we needed to increase the dosage and they said no pretty quickly because I had 3-4 decent sized follicles last time. Also, today during the baseline ultrasound the doctor noticed a significantly larger reserve than they have in the past. She said that last cycle I only had about 6 and this cycle I have about 12 in the reserve!!!! I don’t really know much about that, but it sounds good! The doctor said that it goes against all of my tests that have been done in the past. Hopefully that is a good sign. I start my Clomid today, FSH on Thursday, and then I go in for a scan on July 1st. I’m a little sad because the July 1st visit will be the first one that my husband has to miss. =(

So, that is all I have for an update right now.. I will update soon with my side effects from the wonderful medication. I am planning on taking Clomid at night this time instead of in the morning due to my eye twitching that I had last time.

What Not to Say….

It is amazing how sensitive I am now… The littlest thing will upset me especially when it comes to fertility. Sometimes I think people are just ignorant to the topic. I understand that it isn’t a familiar topic to everyone, but a little courtesy when broaching the subject is appreciated… Some of the most annoying things I have had said to me are:

1. You’re young, you have plenty of time to have a baby.

Really, I didn’t realize that being almost 30 was young when I see 5,000,000,000 16 year olds pregnant. Also, I am ready for my baby now… I don’t want to have to wait!

2. We tried for 2 months to get pregnant, I totally understand the pain and frustration you are going through…

Wow, two whole months!!! I have been trying for two years, you DON’T understand!! You were able to have a baby naturally with timed intercourse. I have taken medication and gone through fertility treatments and nothing.

3. Fertility treatments, that’s cool, you get to pick out the baby’s sex that way, right?

You’ve got to be FREAKING kidding me!!!! I don’t care what sex my baby is, I just want a baby! 

4. Maybe you’re not doing it right… Have you tried _____________ position?

I’ve tried everything you’re going to suggest and more. Shut it!

4. Maybe you should just adopt.

Really, you don’t think the thought of adoption has crossed our mind? It has, but I want to be pregnant, I want to carry a baby, I want to create something that is our own.

5. It must be a sign that it isn’t the right time.

Or maybe it is our infertility that is the factor and nothing about “signs”.

6. I’ve got my hands full, you can have one of mine.

Just pour a little salt in the wound already! Don’t offer your little nuggets up, one day I’ll accept that offer!

7. Are you pregnant yet, how about now?

Really? This helps, it totally helps!

8. Just relax, you’re too stressed and that is why it isn’t happening.

No, that’s just not true…

9. Just enjoy being able to have your freedom. I envy you.

I don’t want my freedom. I want a sweet little nugget to love on and adore. I want to pour my love into a little being and there is nothing that I want more in this world. Don’t envy me and my freedom because I would gladly trade it for a little love.

10. There are worse things that could happen…

Of course there are worse things that could happen, but don’t minimize how I feel or what I am going through!

11. I’ll carry a baby for you.

That is generous, it really is, but no..just no!

12. Whose fault is it?

Fault, really??? Ouch!

 

I’m sure that many of you have experienced similar situations… A little courtesy people, that is all that we ask for! 

CD 1 HURRRRRRRRRRY UP

I have never been so ready for CD 1 to get here. I’m tired of waiting and am ready to just start my stupid period already. That we we can start our next round of IUI. During this cycle the doctor has suggested we do the same exact thing as last cycle. Clomid, Follistim, Ovidrel, and Progesterone.. so, that’s what we will do! After reading many of your suggestions from our last post we will both refrain from drinking through the entire IUI process, we will continue to work out as we have been, and the hubby will also be doing a few other things to improve his sperm count. I am just so ready to get this show on the road. This will be our positive, I just know it! 

IUI Questions

As CD 1 quickly approaches (at least I think because I had a little gunk today in the bathroom) I have a few questions that I would like to ask you guys about your IUI experience.

1. Did you drink coffee/ Caffeine before your IUI or during the TWW?

2. Did you drink alcohol before your IUI or during the TWW?

3. Did you exercise when you were on your fertility medication?

4. Did you exercise during your TWW? To what extent?

5. Sex… Did you have sex the same day as your IUI? I wasn’t able to this last time due to all of the cramping I was experiencing.

6. Did you go on a fertility friendly diet? If so, what did it consist of?

7. Did you do a HPT before your beta or did you wait? I waited this last time and am debating as to whether or not I should this time.

8. Is there anything I can have my hubby do to increase his sperm count? We were at 7 million last time and I would like for that to increase a bit.

9. What vitamins did you continue taking during the process?

Any and all responses would be greatly appreciated! 

The end is near…

As I near the end of my TWW I am flooded with an enormous amount of emotions. I never knew how effected I would be by this entire experience. It has taken a lot out of me not to test early, but I followed the doctors directions (suprisingly) and I haven’t! I go in bright and early tomorrow for my Beta, but they told us not to expect to hear anything until after 4… holy hell! Talk about a day of worrying. I’ve decided to go back to work and keep myself busy instead of taking the day off. E has also decided that he would like for me to find out when they call and then just share the news with him. I am excited and nervous about doing this. I am excited because if I AM pregnant then I could go buy a cute little suprise gift for him. If I am NOT pregnant then I’ll have to take the bad news alone and probably wallow in my own tears for the night. 

I think I am ok regardless of the outcome. I don’t have my expectations set too high, but naturally I am so hopeful that it will be positive!

On a positive note I am no longer having the terrible AF like cramps that I was experiencing earlier in the week and I sitll haven’t started AF. This could be due to the progesterone though. 

Prayers and baby dust for everyone!

Progesterone

So, Dr. Google has gone off and confused me once again… So, my question to all of you wonderful ladies is…

Does progesterone delay the onset of AF? I don’t want to get my hopes up for nothing, but I find varying discussions when I do a Google search. So, I wanted to find out from those of you that have personal experiences with it. My AF isn’t supposed to arrive until Thursday and my BETA is scheduled for Friday… But, generally I have some tell-tell signs of AF’s arrival. I have always had a terrible AF with horrible cramps and a weeks worth of spotting before it fully begins. I’m not really having that at all this time. I have had some minor cramping, but it is dull and lower down than normal and I have been extremely tired. My cramping also isn’t limited to one side as it normally is with AF… Has anyone else experienced something similar?

I’ve also convinced myself that if I am pregnant (fingers crossed) that I am having twins, lol! I’ve lost my damn mind, I know, but for some reason I feel like I am going to have twins. One could only hope it would be that easy. 

These next 4 days are going to be the longest 4 days ever…. ahhh!