I’m Crazy

If someone were to look through my search engine at home or at work they would think I was a lunatic. I’ve gotten to the point where I just can’t help myself.. I Google EVERYTHING and I do mean EVERTYHING! I should keep a list of the random things I Google. I have gotten especially crazy in the last 4 days of the TWW.

So, tomorrow is the day, TOMORROW!!!! Holy smokes! As long as this two weeks has felt, this entire cycle has flown by. I’m excited and anxious to hear what the results are. If they are negative it will suck and I will be heartbroken, but I will pick myself off and we will try again. I’ll also drown my sorrows in a bottle or two of wine. If it is positive I will be overwhelmed with excitement and gratefulness. Either way I am excited to know.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!

Optimism, where did you go? ?

I’m a little down in the dumps today… I tried staying optimistic and positive, but today it is lacking a little. Yesterday I started having “period-like” cramps/ twinges. Or at least what I think is period like cramps. So naturally I began symptom spotting myself left and right. I haven’t completely counted myself out because I have read on doctor Google about many people that had similar feelings and still ended up pregnant. So my question to you all is, have any of you have “period-like symptoms” and still gotten a BFP?

Some of the other symptoms or random things I have noticed in the past few days is: a random rash on both of my upper arms. Also, when I wake up or stand up after laying down for a while my ENTIRE body aches. Sleeping sucks these past few days- I have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep…Finally, I get briefly nauseous after eating. It doesn’t last long, but has been happening pretty regularly.

I’m still going to try to be as positive as possible until I get my beta results, but I don’t want to set myself up to ultimately be crushed either (I will be no matter what if it is a negative). Are any of you getting the second week crazies during your TWW?

This will be my time, this will be my time, this WILL be MY time!!!

Baby dust to you all!

1 Week Down!

Well, you read it…. I am HALFWAY through my TWW. This TWW has been a lot different than my last TWW after the IUI. I am much less stressed and obsessive. I’m also not paying too much attention to “symptoms” or anything like that. This has been both good and bad for me. Good because my day isn’t consumed with convincing myself that I am pregnant, and bad because I don’t feel like I have any “pregnancy-like” symptoms this time so I have convinced myself that I am probably not pregnant. Do any of you do this?

I think I am going to hold out again on taking a HPT and wait for my BETA. I did test my trigger a few times and it has without a doubt lasted in my system longer this time. Last time it tested out of my system in about 5 days. When I tested 8 days after the trigger this time it was still in my system (pretty light though), I haven’t tested since then though.

The second week of the TWW is generally the toughest for me. So, I am planning on doing a huge summer clean of our entire house. Much needed if I do say so myself. Hopefully this will keep me distracted and get me through the long stretch until Thursday!

Praying for my positive!

IUI 2-complete

The stupid computer wit let me update so I’m doing it from my phone.  Please excuse me if it looks funky.

Well, the title pretty much says it all… we completed our 2nd IUI procedure yesterday. The RE office called us on Wednesday and asked if the could move our appointment up from 2 to 11. We were fine with that, I was actually pretty happy about it because I think that would be closer to my ovulation time. This go around the female doctor did my IUI. I was a little hesitant at first, simply because she didn’t do it the first time… but, it made sense for her to do it because she did all of my monitoring this cycle. So that was that.

E went in before the IUI to do his deed. His numbers were a little (not much) better this time compared to last. Last cycle he had 7 million sperm and this cycle he had 7.5 million sperm with 89% motility post wash. The number still seems low to me, but the doctor wasn’t concerned with it at all. She said they like to see anywhere between 5-10 million post wash. Our egg quality was also much better this go around. Last cycle my largest follicle was 18, this cycle my largest one was around a 26 and we had 3 other juicy ones with it. The procedure itself was actually ALOT more painful than the first time. This was because she had trouble with my cervix and had to use another speculum type tool to open my cervix for the catheter- holy shit, ouch!

After the appointment we went out for some lunch and then went back home to relax. I was pretty crampy and wasn’t really up to doing anything. We had planned on BD that evening and then this morning….buuuuuuuuuuuuut that didn’t exactly work out for us. Yesterday I was just too crampy and not feeling up to it. This morning we got started, but ran out of time because E had to get to work. So hopefully at least 1 (maybe 2) of his Michael Phelps swimmers find and fertilize an egg.

and now we wait…..

Randomness

So, this will be a totally random post. I ended up going to the station last night for Eli to give me my shot. I totally could have done it, but I psyched myself out watching videos of other people doing it and reading horror stories about people doing it wrong. So, I drove out there at 10 (I’m usually in bed by 9) and was soooooo tired driving back. He was on a call when I got there too so I had to wait another 20 minutes…. stinking people needing their lives saved. Don’t they know I need my shot??

Today I am feeling a little BLAH. I also have a really dull pain in my left leg. The pain started yesterday before the trigger and it has continued through today. Has anyone else had this side effect? I’ve also had my ongoing headache. I think that is partially because I haven’t had any caffeine. 

Tomorrow is the big day!!! EEEEk! I even bought E “lucky” underwear to wear… I’m a nut, I know.

On a side note- I ordered my Erin Condren life planner today. I freaking love planners and organization. These planners are by far the most outstanding that I have used. I am sooooo freaking excited to get my planner in. When I was teaching I used the teacher planner, it was fabulous!! The little things that amuse me…. If you haven’t hear of them you should check them out. They are a little pricey, but TOTALLY worth it. 

https://www.erincondren.com/referral/invite/jamiesnow0417

So far, so good…

Well, this cycle has been a lot different than my first IUI cycle in a VERY good way. I haven’t had nearly the amount of side effects that I had during our first IUI. I think this is because of a few different things; 1. I know what to expect so I am not overly stressed about the process, and 2. I am taking the medication at night instead of in the morning. I really think the change in time for my Clomid has made a whirlwind of a difference.

I have been a little irritable lately, but that is to be expected with the increase in hormones being pumped through my body.

Today is my last day of Clomid and then I have 2 (maybe 3) days of FSH left. My ultrasound is scheduled for the 1st to do a follicle measurement and to see where we go from there. I am hoping that I have a good amount of juicy follicles. I hope that our positive baseline is a good indication for how this cycle will go. PRAYING FOR MY POSITIVE!

On a side note- another friend of mine has announced that they are pregnant! GUH!! It really frustrates me because 1. she hasn’t even been with the guy for a year, 2. they aren’t married, 3. they were “trying” (I don’t get why you try before you get married)….. She is very happy about, so I guess I will be happy for her. End of my soapbox.

I wish that I had more interesting things to share with you today, but I don’t…. Sorry!

Tough Day

Yesterday was a tough day for me. My best friend (that I have written about before) is pregnant and we are planning her baby shower. I’m very happy for her because she is so excited about it, but planning it really makes me sad. I feel so guilty and selfish admitting that too. As I was talking with her mom about all of the cute ideas and things we needed to get I got a little teary eyed. I also went shopping for some baby shower gifts that I wanted to get her. I went a little overboard with clothes because I thought they were so stinkin’ precious… and she will hopefully be able to pass them down to me after =). I also got her a few other things from Babies R’ Us… Walking around that store alone just makes me sad. You get to see cute little pregnant people everywhere and sweet baby things…. 

It was tough.

On a positive note- I haven’t had my eye twitching side effect (yet) this round of Clomid. I changed from taking it in the morning to taking it in the evening. I start my Follistim tonight, yay shots! So for the next 3 days I’ll be doing Clomid and Follistim at the same time. Last cycle this is when I had the “blah” side effect where I just didn’t feel like doing anything and almost like I was depressed, had eye twitching, and saw tracers in lights. Hopefully that isn’t the case this time, but if that is the worst of the side effects I’ll be good.